A Hell On Earth Special Report
Hell On Earth is very sympathetic to the terminally ill, which is why it was so important to report on the issue of physician-assisted suicide. We are also aware of the self-absorbed city and state officials who tried to belittle a serious issue like physician-assisted suicide by calling it "suicide for entertainment" in order to sway public opinion and advance their own political careers during an election year. That is not only disgusting but it also shows you what your elected officials consider entertainment.
In Florida, a dying, suffering animal is allowed to die with dignity and compassion by being put to sleep by a trained veterinarian.
In Florida, a convicted murderer is put to death in a dignified and humane manner by lethal injection.
But in Florida, if you are terminally ill, in constant agony with no chance of recovery or improvement, and wish to put an end to your suffering by physician-assisted suicide, you are sadistically kept alive against your will by the state.
In an attempt to make sure no one else in Florida commits suicide as a political statement in support of physician-assisted suicide, Florida Legislature passed a law making it a 3rd degree felony for anyone to conduct, provide a venue for, or deliberately assist in an event that includes an actual or attempted self-murder for commercial or entertainment purposes. To "deliberately assist" is defined as carrying out an act that is intended to aid, abet, facilitate, permit, advocate, or encourage, publicize, promote, advertise, operate, stage, schedule or conduct, provide or secure a venue, transportation, or security, or result in the collection of an admission or fee. Every person deliberately assisting another, under the "commercial exploitation of self-murder" law, shall be guilty of a third degree felony, punishable by up to 5 years in prison and up to a $5,000 fine as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084.
The Legislature found that the state has a compelling interest in preserving human life (unless THEY find you unfit to live, in which case Governor Jeb Bush will personally sign your Death Warrant.)
So in light of Florida Legislature’s disregard for equal rights for the terminally ill, it is only fair to report on the flaws and loopholes in this new suicide law, officially known as 782.081 "commercial exploitation of self-murder." Unfortunately for Florida lawmakers the loopholes are as large as the state of Texas! Here are a few of the many suicide loopholes that the lawmakers failed to take into account:
1) UNANNOUNCED SUICIDE
If a person were to commit an unannounced suicide as a political statement at a public event without previously making anyone aware of their plans nor advertising or promoting their intentions, no one could be held liable.
2) ANNOUNCED SUICIDE
If you did feel the need to advertise your "departure date," you could announce that your suicide would take place in the audience at an event that (St. Petersburg) city officials or authorities would not likely cancel, like a major sporting event, large city-sponsored or state-sponsored event or even a city council meeting. You could announce your plans by posting it on any popular Internet message board.
You also might send letters to major news organizations that state your purposes for committing suicide and mention that no one else knew anything about your plans, (especially Hell On Earth.) You would want to be sure to mail your letters the day of your "scheduled exit" as you need the mail to arrive after you've departed so the authorities can't identify you as you waltz your way into the event. If you had a copy of your letter on yourself, you'd risk being Baker Acted if it was found on you during a strip search as you entered the facility. Also, if your suicide was a success and the only copy of your letter was on your person, sneaky government officials would never let your message get outside of the waste paper basket, which is why you would need to send it to credible news media outlets.
In addition, everyone involved in the actual event itself would be guilty under this suicide law for allowing the scheduled event to continue to take place, including city and state officials if it was a city or state sponsored event. If the event organizers or city/state officials were made aware that your suicide was indeed going to take place after you had publicized it, then they would be guilty of providing a venue for your suicide, collecting admission to it and everything they did in relation to "commercial exploitation of self-murder."
The penalties against the event organizers would still apply even if your attempt at suicide fails. However, if your suicide was a success, not only would the event organizers or city/state officials face criminal penalties, they could also face civil lawsuits that your family might choose to pursue after your "self-deliverance" at the event.
3) NON-PROFIT AND EDUCATIONAL SUICIDE
If you wished to conduct an event that featured an actual "self-murder" you could do just that. Under the suicide law the penalties would not apply to anyone as long as the person who is actually committing suicide has no assistance from anyone else and you and your volunteer staff are conducting the event for non-profit and educational purposes.
In order for this to be legal the venue would have to be "donated" and no exchange of money, goods or services could take place at any time. No form of entertainment could be billed before, during or after the suicide. That means no music, bands, circus sideshows or comedians. No food or beverages could be sold. No merchandise could be sold. And, oh yeah... you'd have to have free parking.
In your public service annoucements you could state that the "non-profit and educational" event's purpose is to spread the knowledge of the drastic measures some people must take when physician-assisted suicide is not an option.
4) CHRIST-LIKE SUICIDE
Jesus let himself die on the cross for the sins of all mankind. You could commit suicide, too -- for the sins of all unkind lawmakers.
The law specifically states a person may not conduct, provide a venue for, or deliberately assist in an event that includes an actual "self-murder" for commercial or entertainment purposes. However, you could conduct an event that contained an actual "self-murder" if it was specifically for non-profit and religious purposes.
So if you gave your only begotten life to help make physician-assisted suicide legal, then people might proudly wear a graven image of you around their neck posing in your preferred method of "self-deliverance."
It's important to mention that we are not aiding, abetting, facilitating, permitting, advocating, encouraging, publicizing, promoting, advertising, operating, staging, scheduling, conducting, providing a venue, transporting, securing or collecting an admission fee to any kind of suicide. We are only educating, reporting on related and specific topics of interest and pointing out the obvious. This is not intended as legal advice. Please consult your attorney before attempting any such acts.