Prank of the Quarter: Winter 2003-2004:

DIRECTOR'S CU(N)T:
You are sick of directors that you once admired who totally screw up films like
George Lucas re-editing Star Wars so Greedo the bounty hunter fires
his gun first at Han Solo. What a bunch of crap and the list goes on and on.

So what can you do? Here's the answer.

All you'll need is two VCR's, some porno video tapes and a piece of tape.

Go to the video store and rent some movies. When you get home look on the
left corner of the front spine of the video tape. You'll
notice a small square cut out. Place you're piece of tape over it.
What that does is enable you to record over the video tape.

Next, place the video tape you rented from the video store in the
VCR that will be the designated recorder. Place a porno tape in the designated play
VCR. Now you can be the director and re-re-edit the movie with your special
DIRECTOR'S CU(N)T. Add your special porno edits at key love scenes and through out
the movie. It doesn't have to make since. You should only record over the movie in a few
places using only a few frames of the porno movie at a time. It will make it almost
subliminal. Do it too obviously and your edits will immediately be traced back to you.
The best thing to do is add the porno footage at the end of the credits. That way it will
be a lot harder to get traced back to you.

Finally drop the video tapes you rented back to the video store and know that
someone in the not to distant future will get to bask in the glory of your
award winning DIRECTOR'S CU(N)T. BRAVO!

STICK IT TO YA
So you've gotten even with everyone you're pissed at. Now you're just bored.
Here's some fun with stickers.

Using your computer and some cheap labels used for mail outs on your home computer,
make stickers that have the following words in parenthesis printed on them.
Then stick them on the prepackaged meat items that resemble these delicacies in your
favorite Super Market's meat department. Make sure to place the sticker over the sticker
tag of what the item really is. Bonne Appétit.

 

You can also print stickers that say, "100% HUMAN MEAT", "NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED
DURING THE PACKAGING OF THIS MEAT", "If it bleeds, eat it!" and "P.E.T.A. APPROVED!" then
stick it on the meat packages.

BONUS: STICK IT TO YA
Keep a bounty of bumper stickers in your car.
If a Straight guy pisses you off, put a "Rainbow" sticker bumper sticker on his car.
If a Gay guy pisses you off, put a "Republican" bumper sticker on his car.
If a Feminist pisses you off, put a "Hooter's" bumper sticker on her car.
If a Christian pisses you off, put a "Satan" bumper sticker on their car.
If a Satanist pisses you off, put a "Baptist" bumper sticker on their car.

Be creative and if you can't beat them, make them join you.

Prank of the Quarter: Winter 2003:

YOU'RE DREADING A WHITE CHRISTMAS

Christmas is once again upon us and what a great time for a little holiday jeer.

You're not too happy with someone you know so what can you do? How about spreading a
little white to make things right.

Go to a store like Wal-mart to buy 6 cans of Spray Snow & 6 extra-large economy sized
bags of white rice. Then wait until 3am at night. Go to his/her house and spread the 6
bags of white rice evenly throughout the entire yard. If you have the time, instead of
making a Snow Man you can make a Rice Guy in the middle of the yard.

Finally, spray the Spray Snow on all of the house and car windows so that they're
caked in the white simulated snow.

When he/she walks out of their house in the morning they're going to be Dreading
A White Christmas in the memory for years to come.


HOLIDAY PARK BLOCKER

The Problem: Someone zooms in and takes your parking spot at the mall even though you
had your turning directional on first.

The Solution: Tie his bumper to another car's bumper, or better yet, to a light pole
or street sign using a chain and pad locks or just by tying it with a thick rope.
Be prepared and always carry a long metal chain with two pad locks
or long & thick rope.

When he or she tries to leave they will need to ask Santa for a new front bumper
for Christmas.